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I just wish I would have realized this then. I ran away from my destiny, I ran away from who I am and who I was suppose to be. I did not realize that until later, until it was to late! I go over in my head what I should have done andsome days wishI could go back in time and change the past, but whats done is done. Some things happen for a reason.I am married now, with a little boy. I married into the "nilla" life. I am happy, but will never fully be who I am suppose to be. It is hard to explain. I love my life, but there is always going to be something missing. That emptiness that no one and nothing can fill. All I have is my thoughts and memories and so far they are holding me up pretty well. I found a wonderful site called Lush and became a member. They help me through the tough times, when I don't think I can hold on. They give me a chance to share my experiences and my problems and guide me along the way. They never criticize me for who I was and who I am now, they are as close. Eleanor was the last of five generations of women to let me take them sexually. Being blind I realized that my other senses were heightened. I could smell her fragrant pussy over her subtle perfume. I could feel her breasts tense up every time I rammed my cock down into her. I could hear her erratic breathing as she neared orgasm. I could even taste her salty tears as I kissed her cheek just as I climaxed inside her pussy. Then after I finished I felt her pussy milking me dry like an experienced woman.When I woke up Eleanor was in bed with me. I held her breast for a while and ran my hand down her stomach to her pussy. It was both wet and crusty. I realized that I had fallen asleep and that Eleanor had not cleaned up after giving me her virginity. I was just playing with her clit when she woke up and asked me if I wanted to do it again. Of course I did, I was blind not dead.I easily slipped back into her wet pussy that second time. Eleanor kept giving me words of encouragement as I.
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